Parents and Children
How to Deal with Teenage Behaviour
A sister asks how to handle adolescent behaviour in her children. Shaykh Arafāt al-Muḥammadī advises patience, kindness, motivation, and consistent guidance. He stresses that upbringing in early years affects teenage conduct and encourages continued effort, companionship, and encouragement, reminding parents of their responsibility before Allah ﷻ.
Questioner:
This is a question – may Allah be good to you – from one of the sisters present who says: How should I deal with adolescent behaviour?
Shaykh Arafāt al-Muḥammadī:
Is she referring to her own children?
Questioner:
Yes.
Shaykh Arafāt al-Muḥammadī:
She must be patient and kind, she must motivate and admonish as raising children is not an easy affair. It requires great effort and persistence. However, the greatest amount of difficulty you will experience in dealing with teenagers stems from a lack of concern for their behaviour when they were young because cultivation at a young age has a profound effect on the child. You may have neglected their upbringing when they were young and are now suffering for it when they are older. Nonetheless, never quit on the boy or the girl, be patient, strive, advise, motivate and admonish. And at that age, there must be a sense of companionship and friendship with them, moments of acknowledgment and approval so that they may further develop, become wiser and distance themselves from whatever negative thoughts or desires they have, and as the days and years pass, their situation will improve. So the task isn’t easy but it is a responsibility that you will be asked about on the day of resurrection.
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