Choosing Suitable Husbands: Religion, Character, and Compatibility in Marriage

On the authority of Abū Hurayrah, who said: The Prophet Muḥammad ﷺ said:

«إذا جاءكم من ترضون خلقه وخلقه فزوّجوه إنكم إلّا تفعلوه تكن فتنة في الأرض وفساد عريض»

“If there comes to you one whose religion and character are pleasing to you, then marry him [to your women]. If you do not do so, there will be fitnah upon the earth and widespread corruption.”

And from al-Ḥasan al-Baṣrī (d. 110 AH / 728 CE), from Samurah ibn Jundub, from the Prophet ﷺ, who said: “Lineage is wealth, and nobility is taqwā.”

And from Anas ibn Mālik, who said: Umm Ḥabībah said: “O Messenger of Allah, a woman among us may have two husbands in this world, then she dies. To which of them shall she belong in the Hereafter?” He ﷺ said: “To the one who had the best character, O Umm Ḥabībah. Good character has attained the goodness of this world and the Hereafter.”

And from ʿAṭiyyah ibn Qays, who said: Muʿāwiyah ibn Abī Sufyān proposed marriage to Umm al-Dardāʾ, so she said: “Abū al-Dardāʾ said: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: ‘A woman belongs to her last husband.’ Therefore, I shall not marry after Abū al-Dardāʾ until I marry him in Paradise, if Allah wills.” And it is said: The wives of the Prophet ﷺ were only forbidden from marrying after him because they are his wives in Paradise.

And from Hishām ibn ʿUrwah (d. 146 AH / 763 CE), from his father ʿUrwah ibn al-Zubayr (d. 94 AH / 713 CE), who said: ʿUmar ibn al-Khaṭṭāb said: “Do not force your young women to marry unattractive men, for indeed they love what you love.”

Ibn al-Aʿrābī (d. 231 AH / 846 CE) said: It was said to the daughter of al-Khass: “Will you not marry?” She replied: “Indeed I will. However, I do not want the brother of so-and-so, nor the son of so-and-so, nor the pretentious man, nor the grossly overweight man. Rather, I want one who earns a living when he goes out and is cheerful when he returns.”

Reference

Ibn Qutaybah al-Dīnawarī (d. 276 AH / 889 CE), ʿUyūn al-Akhbār, edited by Mufīd Muḥammad Qumayḥah (Beirut: Dār al-Kutub al-ʿIlmiyyah, 1st edn, 1986), vol. 4, pp. 45-46.

Muḥammad ibn ʿĪsā al-Tirmidhī (d. 279 AH / 892 CE), Sunan al-Tirmidhī, Kitāb al-Nikāḥ, Bāb mā jāʾa idhā jāʾakum man tarḍawna dīnahu wa khuluqahu fa-zawwījūhu, ḥadīth no. 1084.